


Childhood

by Sarah1281



Series: 31 Days of Newmann [3]
Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:58:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23991880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarah1281/pseuds/Sarah1281
Summary: Newt attempts to figure out what Hermann was like as a child. For some reason he ends up describing Pinocchio. Hermann is unimpressed.
Relationships: Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb
Series: 31 Days of Newmann [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1726903
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	Childhood

“You’re describing Pinocchio!” Hermann exclaimed once the realization washed over him. 

Newt gave him a confused look. “No, I’m not. I’m telling you what I think your childhood was like.” 

Hermann jabbed his finger at the drawing Newt had done to better illustrate his vision of young Hermann. “This is literally Pinocchio.”

“No, it’s literally baby Hermann,” Newt corrected. “I may have taken a few liberties because I’ve never actually seen a picture of you from before your college graduation but that’s no reason to accuse me of drawing some obscure character from the 1940s.”

“It’s hardly obscure, it’s Disney!” 

Newt rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, you ever seen Song of the South?” 

“What’s Song of the South?” Hermann asked. 

Newt gave a self-satisfied nod. “Exactly. This is way before the Disney Renaissance here.” 

“I’m not just saying you drew me in a way that reminded me of Pinocchio. I’m literally saying you drew Pinocchio and are now trying to pass it off as me for some reason.” 

Newt carefully examined his drawing. “Yeah, no, I don’t see it.” 

“You gave me a dark yellow Tyrolean hat with a blue band and a red feather,” Hermann pointed out. “At least the area of Tyrol is now partially in Germany and it’s also called the Bavarian hat.” 

“Ha! Nailed it!” Newt said, pumping his fist in the air enthusiastically. “This is a Bavarian hat therefor you must have worn it at some time.” 

Hermann had but that really wasn’t the point. “Even your ability to selectively hear things can’t be this absolute. I said some other things as well.” 

“Yeah, I know,” Newt said. “I want to know why you know so much about hats. Are you some kind of hat fascist now?” 

“Hat fa-Newton, what does that even mean? What does knowing something about hats have to do with fascism?” 

“I don’t know,” Newt admitted. “But it felt right. Fascist is kind of my go-to insult in case you hadn’t noticed.” 

“Oh, I’ve noticed,” Hermann said wryly. “You vetted everyone we used in our wedding for fascism before you agreed to hire them.” 

Newt smiled. “And I stand by that. Or what, did you want our day soiled by fascism?” 

“Of course not but I’m pretty sure you’re the only person who has ever worried about that,” Hermann said, fondly exasperated. 

“I happen to disagree but, even if you are right, I am used to being a one-of-a-kind,” Newt said. His smile turned mischievous. “It’s part of why I’m a rock star.” 

‘Don’t argue with Newton about being a rock star’ had, for some reason, been something Hermann had thought would be nice for their wedding vows. And it had been. But now Newton was determined to see just how far he could push it before Hermann broke his. 

Most couples, Hermann was nearly positive, did not try to bait their husband into breaking their wedding vows. Even if they weren’t the part of the vows that really mattered. 

Well. If Hermann needed to go to Goodwill and get some truly ancient clothing to see how well Newt could refrain from making a comment about how old Hermann was then that was a sacrifice he was prepared to make for their marriage.

“Don’t think you can distract me from you mistaking me for a Disney character,” Hermann said instead. 

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” Newt said innocently. 

Hermann didn’t believe it for a second. “You drew ‘me’ with white Mickey Mouse gloves!”

“Point of order, Mickey Mouse’s gloves have those three weird lines on the side of the back of the hand,” Newt said. 

“Oh, this he takes issue with,” Hermann said, looking into the camera like he was on the office just to make Newt laugh. 

Newt did start laughing and it took him a moment to compose himself enough to say, “No, no, I take issue with all of it but if you’re going to be inaccurate in even your description of my drawing then this is not going to be something we can settle and I’d rather call it out now then come back to it in an hour.” 

Hermann gave Newt a look. “This is not going to take an hour.” 

Newt rolled his shoulders. “So you say but I’m settling in here for the long haul.” 

“Aside from the suspiciously similar gloves, you drew a yellow shirt with a black vest, a large white collar, an oversized blue bowtie,” Hermann said triumphantly. 

Newt shrugged. “Yeah, dude, what’s your point?”

“What do you mean what’s my point? My point is that’s what Pinocchio wears.”

“I’m sure I have no idea about that but you can’t tell me that that isn’t, while maybe not an exact replication of your wardrobe back then, at least extremely close and something you would have totally worn!” Newt exclaimed. 

“Sure I can,” Hermann said. “How do you figure otherwise?” 

“Well, first of all, you’re right the yellow and the red in the shorts – you don’t even need to bring that up, I’ll bring it up for you because I’m the best – are a bit more color then you are normally happy with,” Newt conceded. “But you were a kid and not in complete control of your wardrobe and I know your mother and she likes colors. You dad I don’t think likes anything but we’re not here to shit on him right now. Maybe later once we’ve sorted this out.” 

“Talk dirty to me,” Hermann deadpanned. 

Newt laughed. “Oh, I absolutely intend to. You look so adorable with a fancy little vest and I think that’s the kind of thing you really would wear now! And you are so big on the whole professionalism thing and little kinds, like, never wear ties so you can’t tell me you didn’t have a bow-tie. And the bigger it is the more adorable it would be on you. And I didn’t want to make it red because that’s a cliché so blue it is! You had a big beautiful blue bowtie and I will not be convinced otherwise! And even if it’s not exactly what you wore, it’s in the spirit of it. I never claimed I was trying to perfectly recreate anything.” 

Hermann softened a little at the thought Newt had obviously put into this. Even if it was just thought put into justifying why he had drawn him as Pinocchio. “And the brown button shoes?” 

Newt threw his hands up in the air. “What other kind of shoes were there? I thought that was like what kids wore back then!” 

“Back then? Newton, try not to forget I’m seven months older than you. Our mothers had overlapping pregnancies for a time.” 

Newt made a face. “Gross. And the gloves really were just so I didn’t have to draw hands. This was supposed to be a quick little sketch and we’ve officially spent more time arguing about it then I took drawing it.” 

“I know,” Hermann said. “I was there. Also I would have guess that anyway given the aforementioned Pinocchio resemblance.” 

Newt groaned. “Hermann…you’re killing me here. You really are.” 

“That’s just the clothes,” Hermann said. “I could imagine that you drew me wearing Pinocchio’s clothing because you couldn’t think of anything else and be at least grateful you didn’t give me baby’s first leather jacket but then you drew the rest of me as Pinocchio as well.” 

“Did not.” 

“I have rosy cheeks I wouldn’t be able to get without a great deal of make-up.” 

“Artistic license.” 

“You gave me blue eyes. My eyes are very much brown and I really would expect you to know that by now,” Hermann said. 

“One time some guy on a talk show asked what ‘kaiju blue’ was and you said it was the color of my eyes!” 

“I just thought it would be romantic,” Hermann explained. 

“Fuck you, it totally was, but also my eyes are not blue!” 

“They are closer to blue than mine are,” Hermann said as if that settled it. “And you gave me wooden joints.” 

Newt crossed his arms defensively. “Joints are hard. I really don’t see what you’re trying to-Oh my God, really? Dude, really?” 

Hermann pulled his phone back from Newt’s face and looked once again at the image of Pinocchio he had pulled up. “I’m just saying.” 

“Okay, fine, well now I’m just saying why do you have such a weird knowledge of what Pinocchio looks like?” 

“I don’t think it’s weird,” Hermann said. “I just remember, is all. But since you didn’t say it was a fascist knowledge I will allow it.” 

“So maybe there is a little bit of a resemblance,” Newt admitted. “I don’t know, I have a hard time picturing you as a child and that’s the first thing that came to me! Pinocchio took place in Germany, didn’t it?” 

“Tuscany,” Hermann corrected. “Which is in Italy.”

“Whatever, I don’t believe in geography,” Newt said dismissively. 

“While that is literally brand new information, it does not surprise me in the slightest,” Hermann said. 

“Modern geography and the borders between some nations is extremely problematic,” Newt said. “Colonizers didn’t know shit and they just liked straight lines.” 

“Far be it from me to argue with you about social justice,” Hermann said. 

Newt sighed. “You really are no fun.” 

“You knew what you were getting with me,” Hermann said unapologetically. 

Newt grinned and leaned over to kiss him on the nose. “Hell yeah I did.” 

“Honestly, Newton, can’t you think of anything my childhood might have been liked that is not blatantly ripped off of Pinocchio?” 

Newt scrunched up his face as he thought. “I mean, uh, I know you have three siblings. I could see you on this nice country estate with green, like, everywhere and you guys getting a governess or something instead of going to the local school and she never quite fit in where she was from but she becomes a valued part of your family and teaches you all so much more than academics.” 

“Newton.” 

“Yes?” 

“That’s the Sound of Music. And it takes place in Austria, not Germany.” 

“Why even ask me if you’re just going to nitpick everything I say?” Newt asked, shaking his head. 

“Originally I was just curious,” Hermann replied. “At this point I’m just wondering if you know anything about Bavaria at all.” 

Newt mumbled something. 

“What?” 

Newt gave a long-suffering sigh. “I said I know they’re the pretzel people.” 

Hermann couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing. 

Newt tried to look affronted by this before he started to laugh as well. 

Eventually, Hermann moved over until his leg was touching Newt’s. “We are going to have to go to Bavaria at some point. You realize that, right?” 

Newt threw his arm around Hermann. “Yeah, I’m cool with that. We can buy some pretzels.”

“Please bring some when we get to my house. I want to watch the look on my father’s face.” 

“Babe, you say the sweetest things,” Newt said, nuzzling into Hermann’s shoulder. “You know that I have been to Germany, right?” 

“You’ve been to _Berlin_ ,” Hermann said dismissively. “For the _weekend_.” 

“Oh whatever,” Newt said, rolling his eyes. “You are such a snob.” 

“Yes.” 

“Anyway, what do you think my childhood was like? Because, you know, apparently a lot of people think I was bullied a lot as a kid but I never really was. Bullies don’t get homework help, after all, and it’s not making friends that’s ever been my problem but keeping touch once I move on.” 

Hermann was quiet for a moment too long. 

Newt leaned back to look at him properly. “Hermann. What aren’t you telling me?” 

Hermann cleared his throat. Nothing for it. “You know the movie Grease?” 

He didn’t know the last time he heard Newt laugh that hard and, as he pulled Newt back towards him, he decided that that made his answer a very good one indeed. 

And he still wasn’t sure it was completely inaccurate.


End file.
